The Journey to Loving Me

I think I'm addicted to reading self-help books and pain, but we'll talk about that later. I was reading one of my many books last night, and while doing one of the exercises, I came to the realization that I really don't love myself like I should. I definitely don't love myself with the same energy, enthusiasm, and passion that I love others with. The way my love is set up is if I really love you, I really love you unconditionally. It seems that I don't love me unconditionally. The love I show myself is quite conditional. This has been both a blessing and a curse, as I've loved people who definitely deserve it. However, the person that I should be the most patient, understanding, and love towards, doesn't get any of that.

So this journey to learn how to love myself as I Iove others has officially begun. Learning how to put myself and my needs first is a foreign concept to me. As I've grown accustomed to putting everyone else first. The goal every day is to make myself priority number one. The other part of this journey is acceptance. Learning how to love AND accept me is so very important. It's funny, these are all of the things that I've sought outside of myself. I used to think that if someone loved, accepted and cared for me that way I thought they should, or hoped they would, that it would be enough to fill the empty spaces within me. Clearly, that's not how that works.

The effects of not taking care myself have begun to manifest in different ways. Which is what pushed me to embark on this journey. Growing and improving yourself isn't the easiest, most comfortable thing to do. I know that I haven't done all the work required which is why I can't complain about being uncomfortable. So along with working, raising three kids, running a household, running a business, writing a blog and trying to live my very best life, I will be working on my relationship with me. I'm definitely going to keep you all posted on how that goes.

As always, I am so grateful to everyone who takes time out of their day (or night) to read this blog. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

*** Proud mom announcement!*** Rahmil, Rahsaan, and Aryn all made the honor roll this quarter. Aryn made the Principal's honor roll for the 5th consecutive time AND she reads on an 8th-grade level***