The Beauty of Freedom

Freedom means different things to different people. Some people only view freedom in the financial sense. Yes, being able to do what you want, when you want without worrying about the cost is definitely freedom. However, freedom can be defined in other ways as well. For example, freedom to me is the ability to choose happiness over grief and sadness. The freedom to recognize what God is doing and has done in my life and in my heart over this last year. The freedom to choose to live, love and be happy again without guilt. The freedom to finally see myself and my strength as others have seen me all of this time. I've grown so much as a person and as a woman in this last year, that I barely recognize the person I was before all of this happened.

Seeing myself through the eyes of people who truly love and care for me has been such a profoundly humbling experience. I've been my harshest critic for as long as I can remember. However, lately, I keep being told that I am strong and that they can see how much I've grown. To me, there was no strength in what I've done. From my point of view, life put me in a position where I had to sink or swim. I have kids to take care of so I chose to swim. I felt that I had no other choice. I was reminded last night that I did indeed had a choice. I've never viewed myself as being strong and for that, I was wrong. Self-reflection and self-correction have been incorporated into my daily life. I'm growing y'all and it's so beautiful.

I also see freedom as being able to acknowledge and accept all that I've been through and letting it go. I finally feel free enough to allow God to remove all of the darkness, pain and hurt from my heart so that love can grow there again. This freedom has come at an enormous price but I truly believe that what is coming will be so very worth it. I was recently reminded that pain really does change you. For me, I've always resisted change and by trying to hold on to what was already gone, it prevented me from being able to heal and move forward. The growth that is taking place in me has me so excited. I am totally in love with the woman I am becoming. She is challenging herself and stepping outside of her comfort zone more and more. She is also allowing herself to be vulnerable in ways I would never consider before.

I also believe that freedom is happiness and inner peace. When you are truly happy and at peace, you are free. When you are no longer bound by fear, you are free. When you realize whatever it is that speaks to your soul and you go after it, you are free. When you finally find the courage to walk in your purpose and to speak YOUR truth, you are free. I realized that I have never truly been free. At least not before now. You have to fight for your freedom, but that's what makes it all so awesome.